A letter to my future children

Whether you’re written in my future or not… I don’t know. I hope that Insha’Allah (God willing) you are.

The idea of one day being a mother is something I find both heart warming and terrifying. Perhaps, I am too young to be thinking about this but I guess that’s just me – always thinking too much about what ifs. 

As it is, I spent the better part of a train journey this week thinking of the things which I would want to tell my future children.(I’m a bit strange like that). And then on Wednesday, I saw the daily prompt Embarrassing and… the idea for this letter was borne.

The chances of you ever reading this are slim to none but maybe one day this post will serve as a reminder of things I wish to tell you:

Firstly, please don’t ever be embarrassed by who you are.

Don’t be embarrassed to be passionate about things that you love, whatever the subject, whatever the book, just whatever it is… don’t squash your excitement for fear of embarrassment. Don’t ask yourself whether people will think you’re strange or weird or geeky for loving the things you do – embrace who you are. People will respect you for being who you are. And if you’re lucky you’ll meet people who share the same crazy interests as you.

Don’t be embarrassed by your fears. It’s natural to have fears – you wouldn’t be human without them. Don’t hide your fears, embrace them, be successful in spite of them. Be courageous.

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela

Don’t be embarrassed by where you come from. I don’t know what the future holds or what our circumstances will be but never be embarrassed by where you come from. Our backgrounds play an important part of shaping who we become.

Don’t be embarrassed by your mistakes. If you didn’t make them, you wouldn’t learn. If you realize you’ve made one, don’t be afraid to admit it. Owning up to your mistakes, taking hold of them and using them to grow, is the best thing you can do.

Don’t be embarrassed by your failures. Again, everyone makes them. Failures are tough. They suck. But they teach you humility, they teach you resilience, they show you you are strong enough to get back up and try again. They let you develop courage. Much better than being handed everything on silver platter, don’t you think?

Don’t be embarrassed by having to ask for help. It’s okay if you don’t understand something. Asking for help doesn’t reduce your worth. It shows you are self-aware enough to realize you need help and it shows you are eager enough to want to learn.

Don’t be embarrassed by your race or religion. I hope the world you live in is more educated and understanding. I hope racism is something you never have to encounter, I hope you never have to be judged harshly merely because someone does not agree with your religious believes. The world is not all bad at the moment but it’s far from perfect. Whatever it’s like in your world – don’t let anyone ever make you feel embarrassed of who you are.

Do share your embarrassing moments with friends or family. I know this sounds strange. Why would you to share those cringe-worthy moments? Well, because I believe that talking to people about things like that can help stop you from constantly chastising yourself for your embarrassing incident. I have a friend who I can share embarrassing / cringy moments with, without fear of being judged and I hope you are able to find a friend like this to.

Finally, something I realized this week is this is 1) embarrassment is subjective and 2) we’re often our own worst critics.

Everyone has embarrassing moments (I once had to walk down the road with an upside down umbrella stuck to my head… yep… it’s true) and I am sure you will. But what you deem to be completely and utterly embarrassing, may not seem embarrassing to other people.

As people, we are far too often too self-conscious and too hard on ourselves – especially when we feel we’ve done something potentially embarrassing. I’ve had far too many of these experiences… but you know what? It’s about time we start giving ourselves a break…

And now, that’s enough ranting from me.

I hope to meet you in the future.

 

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